Exit, Stage Left

The pain started in the afternoon just after lunch. As it became more intense, my first guess was: food poisoning. Having been down the under cooked meal route before I figured it would be a couple hours of discomfort and then it would be over… boy was I ever wrong.

I skipped dinner and went to bed early hoping to wake up better in the morning. That night around 2am in the morning I woke Karen up and had her take me to the ER. After getting a CT Scan and blood panel it was obvious to the doctor that my appendix was not a happy camper. As with a problematic Gall Bladder, surgery is the only solution. Lucky for me, this was a body part that didn’t seem to have a purpose in life. Once it was gone, it wouldn’t be missed. Without a lot of hesitation I was scheduled for surgery and a vitally important regimen of morphine (mmm, morphine…).

We were reassured that this was a routine procedure, and if done via laparotomy I would be back to work in a couple of days. I vaguely remember this conversation for two reasons – the first being my drug induced stupor (did I mention I was on morphine?), the second being the inordinate amount of pain I was in. By the time I was told I was scheduled to have surgery, the doctor could have told me he was going to take out my appendix with a sharpened spoon and a fork and I would have signed the release form without a second thought.

As I was wheeled into the operating room I remember thinking, “it’s awfully bright in here”. This was when the rubber was meeting the road, so to speak and after having seen countless episodes of E.R. and Grey’s Anatomy, I felt I was ready for my surgical debut. I remember the mask, I remember asking, “now?” What I didn’t get to do was count backwards from 100, and not more than two seconds later I was waking up in the recovery room surrounded by a totally different group of strangers. Apparently, I had survived the ordeal; three small scars were the only proof that the surgical team had done it’s job.

And so ended my non-surgical streak. Up to this point I’ve never had a broken bone or anything close to resembling a major medical issue. Looking back I guess it’s one of the best “problems” to have if you’re looking at being “put under”. Full recovery is going to take 3-5 weeks but I’m just looking forward to some time away from the office, making some headway with my Netflix queue and getting some reading done.

Adios appendix, I knew you well…


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